my little secret(s)...

last night Konstantin and i went to an eye-opening event. we saw Frank Warren speak about his compelling artistic project known as PostSecret. he has spent the past 5 years collecting people's secrets: the good, the bad and the ugly. when i left the auditorium, all the words i could conjure up to express the well of emotions anxious to burst out of me were left there in the seat i was in, staring blankly at the empty stage, trying to sift through all the secrets floating in the air - secrets that were uttered, whispered across seats, and even written on postcards left on random chairs on the way out.

i cried myself to sleep last night. i realized that we all have secrets. some, we find humorous and embarrassing. others, we want to take to the grave. but bottom line, we're not alone with our secrets. someone else in this world shares it with you and doesn't know what to do with it either. last night, i realized i didn't want to die not having shared who i am with someone... anyone... so i'm sharing my secrets with you. i'll share one a day until i'm left with none. by the end of it all, i'll be emotionally naked before the world. i don't think there's anything more liberating.

secret # 1: i talk to myself. and myself answers. i replay conversations i've had throughout the day and think about what i should have said instead of what first popped into my head. i ridicule myself for having sounded stupid. i practice what i'm going to say in a fight, only to throw it all out the window and settle for what is logical and appeasing rather than what would really hurt the other person. strange, i know, but it's what i do.

~D~