a whole new world...

and a new phase begins. it's been months since we last caught up, but in those months, my whole entire existence has changed. K and i have found ourselves at peace. the war over turf is over. she and i seemed to have become one.

or so she'd like to belive. i'm still here. still ever-present in her heart. keeping her strong when she thinks she's going to falter. i'll always be here, but she's right. we're at peace.

ok, so she's still there. but she has to be. you see, we've mad some drastic changes in the past few months. i'll give you the cliff's notes version for now:

for one, the wrath of Konstantin's id on my heart has ended. i can't even explain how it happened. one day i decided i was going to leave my big city life where nothing what happening for me to move to a happy little town full of palm trees and warm nights. i dreamed of a new beginning. one where joblessness and homelessness was no longer an option. one where i could finally spread the wings i had developed in the cocoon of solitude. the more i spoke of this idea, the more he's ask for dates, timelines, budgets, when, where, how. i had no clue where his sudden interest my path of choice came from, but i'm not going to lie, i liked it.

i loved how he was concerned about my ability to strike out into the unknown and survive. he failed to realize that we (K and i) were born for this moment. but then, he did the unexpected. he asked me if i'd wanted to live with him. i was speechless, elated, and frightened all at once. was this man, the one who had somehow managed to cleft my heart in two just months before, the one who has never directly told me what he wants from me, the man who i thought was either going to be a bachelor forever or back with his ex, asking me to be a part of his quotidian life?

it didn't stop there. he helped move me there. he reserved my storage facility. he took it upon himself to find us a home. yes, a HOME. he became the man i'd always wanted him to be for me - the man i could see deep in his eyes. that's the man that took my breath away time and time again. a few days after i had arrived, i got an offer i couldn't refuse. my career was finally taking off. as a congratulatory gift, he gave me something that i cherish more than anything he's ever given me - his commitment.

Konstantin and i are now living blissfully in sin. it's an effortless bonds that makes me happy from the moment i awake till we're falling asleep in a haze of the remnants of a passionate encounter. i'm so happy. this is effortless for me. but it's hard to say the same for him. he's trying to adjust, but it's taking him much longer than i had thought. i'm being patient, though.

the thing is, i've fallen in love with him. but this isn't recent news. most of you know this has been the man i haven't been able to get enough of, and i finally realized why. i am madly in love with him. and i know that frightens him. he's not used to a woman like me (correction, like US). he is the first man that i've been able to trust wholeheartedly. his past doesn't frighten or intimidate me. it's just another part of him that makes me love him more. do i know about his sordid little secrets? of course. he's ashamed of some aspects of his past, but none of it bothers me. it all makes him the man he is now. the man who holds my heart in the palm of his hand. his boyish charm makes my heart melt. there is an innocence about him, despite all the lusty deeds that defined the beginnings of our relationship.

i have finally reached a point where i can make myself happy. he's my cherry on top.