never have i ever been more content with my life than i am right now. most people attribute happiness to the occurrence of several amazing things back to back. however, for me, it's been a whole lot of nothing - just many nights spent deep in thought, regaining perspective on life.
as a result, the trifecta has been disbanded. yes, ladies and gentlemen, i'm through with my pair and a spare. the pair have been reduced to friends i occasionally share kind words with. the spare was easy to rid myself of - once you stop answering the phone, those kinds of boys tend to get the hint. now all i'm left with is the the most important thing in the world, the only thing that matters - me, myself and i.
simply put, i've come to the realization that i love being alone. i love sleeping in my bed alone. i love going out to eat alone. even watching movies alone makes me happy. i've been attempting to garner relationships with different people all while ignoring the longest lasting, most meaningful relationship of them all, the one i have with myself.
after the whole fiasco with konstantin, i found myself telling him the things i wanted to hear: "trust your gut" "take the time to find out who you are and make yourself happy" "don't be afraid of change."
so i'm trusting my gut. it's telling me that solitude is the best defense mechanism i have right now. when i'm alone, no one can hurt me. when i'm alone, i have the chance to build on myself. when it's just me, i find out all the little bits and pieces that make up the person that i am. and there is nothing more amazing than knowing who you really are. someone recently asked me "who are you?" i was astounded to be able to give that person a true, well thought out answer. and knowing who i am means i can decipher my needs and my wants.
loving myself is a beautiful thing. you should try it.
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